And so our heroine withdraws to the taiga

I've felt very mentally impotent lately, hence the lack of updates. I'm too rusty at self-expression after all the months of being so stuck in the morbid recesses of my brain this fall and winter. I can only hope that the warmer, calmer weather just out of grasp (come on, April, I know you can do it) will also thaw my frozen brain.

Some one had blundered

I had a really bad day. Nothing specific, really, just a super bad day in my brain.

That said, nothing improves a girl's mood quite like walking into her roommate's room at 7pm and finding said roommate 2 beers in, a computer cord around her neck, child's police badge pinned to her tank top, dancing around and rapping to Eminem.

Something about wishes being horses

Sometimes I wish life were a giant Etch-a-Sketch. I have positively no talent for either, but at least with the Etch-A-Sketch everything is fixed with a couple of shakes and then, poof. Nothing.

Well, ok, maybe I should say I wish my brain were an Etch-a-Sketch.

Or, you know, maybe I should just go to bed.

I have a much longer post in the works

Meant to update the blog this weekend, but instead I slept for a total of 26 hours and spent the rest of my time prone on the living room couch half watching FRIENDS and half zoned out. I have no idea what's up with that, but hopefully it will be done with by morning. Zoning out at work tends to lead to very unhappy people in Argentina and Costa Rica.

What to expect in my forthcoming update of epicness:

1. Obama highlights
2. Navel Gazing
3. Some really vague wonderings about the future and what I might do with it

For now, though, I am going to bed. I really seem to like it there right now.

Delicious

Today was long and frigid. As I finally walked away from work at 5:30 (that's a 10 hour day for me, mind) I felt defeated and cold, spending both train rides home fighting exhausted tears. A nice reminder that the depression hasn't left me even thought I have felt a bit better.

Anyway, I put this song on when I got home. It's slow and moody, but so amazingly good. It lulled me into an okay place. I'm still sad and tired, but I'm sort of at peace with it.

A Record Year for Rainfall - The Decemberists



One more day of work and then the frenzy begins.

Joni knew what she was talking about

A river to skate away on would be pretty freaking fantastic right now.

There is nothing better to give you some holiday cheer than:

- not having a Christmas tree, stocking or lights
- your brothers screaming "faggot"and "asshole"at one another
- your one brother spending most of the day out in the car
- your stepmother screaming at everyone
- realizing your father and stepmother don't even listen to you when they pester you to tell them what you want. I mean...backgammon? Not that I care about presents (they make me feel awkward, actually, but I digress). Still, though....my brothers got video games and jerseys and I got...backgammon and old lady slippers.
- watching your cousin's dog collapse over and over and then fall down the stairs...during Christmas dinner. Finding out later that he might have to be put down is also a bonus
- your mother crying on the phone because she misses you
- realizing you probably aren't going to be allowed to go home until Sunday


That is only the short list, too. Ugh. I am going to bed!