The pain of distance

Tonight I really miss parts of my family.

My mom, for example. I haven't seen my mom since June and it aches. A few days with her and I start to feel a bit insane, of course, but she has always been one of my best friends and to be so far from her is a physical hurt I can't get rid of. I am thrilled that she is so happy on the west coast, but why oh why couldn't she have found that happiness here in the land where earthquakes and The Governator are just things in our imaginations?

And then there is my sister. Well, stepsister really, but for all purposes she is my sister. She was always so cool (still is) even though I only saw her when I was in Staten Island (and you know how I feel about THAT). She was talented and popular and gorgeous and even though her accent made me cringe, I thought she was a goddess. When she moved away for jobs I lost my niche in NY. I lost a confidant and friend. Moving away has, like it did for my mother, helped her tons. She found herself and along the way she found her wife. They are the craziest, most wonderful insaniacs you could ever know and I miss them to pieces. I only see them every couple of years, but when I do it's always wonderful fun. I am extremely proud to tell people that my lesbian sister sings in a stage act in a theme park in Tennessee because she is one of the most content people I know and for that she will always be a role model to me.

I don't know why I miss them so much tonight, but I do. I have a family here in Philly - better frends then I could ever deserve or hope for. Sometimes, though, nothing can replace your mother's laugh or the feel of her always-slightly-too-long fingernails against your scalp as she strokes your hair in the same way she has since before you can remember.